Being A Mom 101: Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mothers Day 2022

By MeShonya Wren-Coleman, Ph.D.

If there is one mother out there that came here with an instruction guide on how to raise children, please share it with the rest of us. Even Mary, the mother of Jesus, had to figure this thing out.

When I imagine my life with my 23-year-old and 11-year-old, I ask myself, “What was I thinking?” But then in an instant, I can’t imagine my life without them. My daughters have held me accountable and taught me about a love only so many get to experience. Trust me this, these two blessings, I don’t take for granted.

Do I question this motherhood role? Most definitely! When I had my first daughter, I was scared endlessly and it didn’t help that she was born three months prematurely. So constantly, I was listening for heartbeats and she had better not dare cough or sneeze. I traveled to the doctor’s office more in her first year of life than I have done in a lifetime. My entire life centered around her well-being.

My 11-year-old challenged me in a different manner as she grew into her pre-teen years. What I saw was a mini-me and a carbon copy of her dad. In my conversation with God, I asked what have we done? She’s in her own lane and you can’t just share it with her, you must be invited to do so.

As an educator, I am always learning and teaching, so I just want to share seven points of motherly advice that may help give you total completeness as you conquer motherhood from my Being a Mom 101 conversations.

1. Love Unconditionally: You simply can’t stop loving your sons and daughters regardless of how many times they stray. A perfect example is how our God loves us. He embraces us, forgives us, and emerges grace upon us daily just because. Who wouldn’t want to run back into that type of love?

2. Give them space to grow: No, you will not like some of the clothes that they wear, careers that they choose, and friends that they have. Allow them to grow and figure some things out on their own. Stop sheltering them because they will never know how to spread their wings and soar.

3. Be firm, but approachable: Our kids definitely need to understand that “no” means “no,” but in the same breath, we want them to be comfortable enough to talk to us about anything and I mean ANYTHING! We need to help them know and understand that they are enough. Allow your ears, heart, and arms to always be open.

4. Hugs and Kisses: For me, I can’t get or give enough hugs and kisses to my girls. This stems back to being approachable. Our daughters shouldn’t have to search for it when they can come right home to me anytime to receive it. Give a hug and kiss today.

5. Being Present: Don’t just be in the room. Don’t just show up for their events. Get involved. Be their biggest cheerleader. Give them your undivided attention. Put down the cell phone, turn the television off, and make your kids a priority and not a majority of your routine day-to-day life.

6. Teach Lifelong Learning Skills: Train a child in the way that they should go; even when he is old, he will never depart from it, Proverbs 22:6. Teach your kids about the word of God and allow them to embrace His presence in their lives. Help them to understand the reward of hard work and consistency. Tell them to get respect, they must first earn it. Stir them in the direction of being independent and not dependent. Let them know that this life is not to be taken for granted, chase your dreams with everything you have got. Last but not least, plaster the Golden Rule in their heart: “Do unto others as you would have them to do unto you.”

7. You don’t have to dance to their beat, but at least listen to the music with them. I will just allow that one to sink in and you can draw your own conclusion because my rhythm is off and all I can do is listen.

To all you brave mothers out there, conquer and achieve. Happy Mother’s Day!!!