Changing Our Narrative
By Lamont Landers
When I began writing, I was overwhelmed by the number of thoughts that entered my mind. I’m so thankful for the experiences that I have had in my life, both good and most unexpectedly the bad.
Some people may ask what the hell am I talking about. Allow me to explain. For most people when they experience a tragedy or trauma, the most common response is sadness, anger, or grief. Honestly, people have the right to feel this way. I too have experienced all of these emotions when unfortunate events have occurred as well. Both as a youth and as an adult.
It’s easy to blame others or feel sorry for yourself when you experience trauma. What I have strangely learned over the years is how to be thankful because of the experience. No one would ever say that they were thankful for being bullied as a kid, however, that same individual can use that event to become a strong man, caring father, mentor, and humble person that cares about the well-being of others.
No one would ever say that they are thankful for growing up in the ghetto, having friends go to jail, being killed, or having to hide behind buildings during a drive-by shooting. The same individual however can develop empathy, sympathy, self-awareness, and a true appreciation for others.
You gain a true understanding that all people are important and leading by example and not necessarily by words is important. Through it all, being honest, consistent and fair were the qualities that were ingrained in me through those experiences.
I’m sure many of you may be thinking to yourselves, how is this possible? The answer is simple. When you experience dishonesty, inconsistency and unfairness it forces you to make a choice. Be a part of the problem or follow the example of the words spoken by Mahatma Gandhi: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
I once wrote a poem about the three individuals that I’ve been most thankful for all of my life. My Great Grandmother, Grandmother, and Mother. The poem was called Strong Black Women.
I know that men of all ethnicities have a love for their mothers that is similar to mine. That’s why I believe that expressing this is so important because it’s not about race, it’s about love, guidance and thankfulness.
These women are truly my heroes. As time passes and the seasons change, I am reminded of all the lessons that they taught me and the difficult circumstances that helped mold my character. Ultimately these life lessons and their guidance enhanced my journey into adulthood.
A Strong Black Woman how pleasing to see
She is the one person on earth that truly understands me
Mother, Grandmother, Great Grandmother all of my life
For them, a Strong Black Man would willingly give his life.
An excerpt from the poem ‘Strong Black Women.’
This excerpt from my poem truly sums up how I feel. I’m so thankful that these women invested in me because they knew I had the potential to be someone I never thought I could be.
We never truly know what the future holds for us but we should remember to be thankful and appreciate our families as well as our experiences. I understand that in many situations it’s difficult to love life, live life and be thankful for life when unfortunate events occur but I hope that we all can find those silver linings to be thankful for to help us succeed in our futures.
