By: Michael Reel
Changing Our Narrative
Cocktails and conversation are at the center of our 2019 Father’s Day celebration.
In honor of Father’s Day, we convened four exceptional dads. Darryl Adams and David Malonson are both married with two children, a son and daughter. Kevin Maxwell and Lionel Dalton are single fathers who parent at a distance. Dalton’s four children live in Philadelphia while Kevin’s daughter resides in the state of Georgia.
David leans into our conversation with a candid assessment of children and parenting. “For me personally, I like to put a percentage on it. As a finance person, people always say, ‘Kids are great! Kids are fantastic!’ And that’s true. However, its 70/30 for me. 70 percent of the time it’s fantastic. 30 percent of the time – no thanks.”
Kevin admits that once his daughter was born and he realized he was now a father he immediately became protective. “Once I saw how fragile she was and how beautiful she was my protectiveness was amplified.”
Darryl, our afternoon host, asked a poignant question about parenting: “How can you put this much joy into a sentence? On one hand it’s everything you ever wanted and then you think – OMG, the pressure of having a kid. But once he or she is here you just roll right into it. I always say, ‘There’s no handbook to parenting. It’s just an amazing experience and you appreciate every moment of it.’”
Lionel, the father from Philly who had children while still a child himself, brought real-world perspective to our conversation. “I had my first son at the age of 14. My oldest son is 26. I have two sons that are 21 – and they’re not even twins – and I have a daughter who just turned 18 today. I started very young. When I see guys that are in their late 30’s or 40’s and they’re just now having kids – I’m like, ‘Aw, that’s so cute.’ I was doing that at 17. I had four kids before I was 21.”
As our Father’s Day cocktails and conversation ended, each of the dads shared real wisdom, expressed real love for their children, spouses, kid’s moms and family members.
Dalton credits his children’s mothers for keeping them on the right path. “I’ve got to thank my kids’ mothers – they’re the only reason why I’m still here. They always told me what was going on and continued to believe in me while maintaining my kids.”
Representing young professional fathers and family men, David imparted advice leavened with wisdom. “Make time to be present because at the end of the day you always have a love for your mom or dad that was present in your life.”
Speaking with strength, Darryl reminds young fathers from every walk of life that parenting and your child’s well-being remains in the palm of your hand. “It’s your responsibility to nurture and care for those kids even if it’s as simple as having a conversation on the ride home from school as my daughter and I often do. Be the foundation – kids are emotional and they’re looking for daddy to say it’s OK.”
Our final word came Kevin. “Each of these fathers hit on significant points. I remember someone telling me, the way you spell love to a child is TIME. It’s all about time.”
