By: Michael Lay
Changing Our Narrative
A world viewed through a Watts-like prism
People often ask me, “How did someone from Watts end up in Australia working with Indigenous youth?” To which I scratch my head, smile at them, and wait a few seconds so their anticipation can build. As they await my reply, I take a deep breath and say, “To be totally honest with you I actually don’t know how I ended up here.” Of course, that isn’t true but it’s a good lead for something more profound such as, “I actually followed my passion and that’s how I ended up here.” By now they are intrigued and so the story begins.
Right now, I live in Bunbury, Australia, which is a beautiful coastal city in Western Australia. I’ve been married to Natasha for ten years and I have two beautiful kids, Macey and Marlow. I’m extremely proud of the work I do assisting young Indigenous Australians attend school, stay at school, complete school, and get a job. It sounds simple but believe me, it’s not. Through my work, I am regularly exposed to one of the most storied cultures in the world and to my delight I have grown a deep respect it. The centuries of oppression the Indigenous culture here in Australia has faced resembles the subjugation of African Americans, Native Americans, and many other Indigenous groups across the world. The irony is that I see myself and/or childhood friends I grew up with in a lot of the young people we mentor. In many ways, this makes me feel less guilty about being so far away from home because I’m still working to improve social justice.
Before we moved to Bunbury, I was living in a remote Aboriginal community called Halls Creek. This was back in 2015 and I was coming off one of the best basketball seasons I’ve had in my professional career. I remember calling my mom from Australia to tell her I wasn’t going to play basketball anymore and that we were moving to a remote community. Her response was… silence … then she asked me to call her back. It wasn’t exactly the response I was expecting.
Living in Halls Creek was truly amazing. My life was rich in quality not quantity because there was literally one of everything. There was one grocery store, one furniture store, one gas station, one pharmacy, etc. The town offered a simple lifestyle, but it was also riddled with social issues. In fact, when I first arrived in Halls Creek I felt right at home because it reminded me of Watts. Like Watts, there was a heavy dependence on welfare and a lot of children whose needs weren’t being met. Strangely, I knew this was exactly where I was supposed to be in life. We had a great time there and through both mine and my wife’s work (she’s a Chaplain), we feel we were able to make an impact. I’ve got some fond memories from Halls Creek and here’s one I’d like to share:
I went fishing for barramundi once with some friends and it required us to drive on dirt tracks and at times through tall grass. On the way there we got bogged in mud and we didn’t have a recovery kit. Thankfully, another car approached and helped us, but we were stranded in the middle of nowhere for thirty minutes. We eventually made it to our fishing spot and were then greeted by a three-meter saltwater crocodile. Eventually we caught some fish, but dusk was near and we still needed to pack up. On the way home we got bogged in mud again and there wasn’t anyone near us who could help. We are stranded in the middle of the outback desperate for help so of course the black guy from Watts volunteers to leave the car to search for help. If you ever get stranded, you are not supposed to leave your car. I had no water, the mosquitoes were sucking my blood like vampires, and of course I got lost. It was pitch black and I actually thought I was going to die that night.
Prior to working at the Clontarf Foundation, I pretty much traveled the world playing basketball. Wherever it took me I went. It still amazes me that I was paid to play the sport I love, but it happened. I started off in Mexico, then I traveled to Australia, then Germany, then I headed back to Australia – where I’ve been living here ever since. I did that for ten years but the life of a professional athlete is brutal and can be unforgiving. As much as I loved basketball, I still always saw it as a pathway to get me where I needed to be. I fell in love with the process of the game very early in life, so I absolutely loved working out. This happened in 1997 when I was in the ninth grade and has stayed with me until now. I remember watching our varsity basketball team win the state championship and being inspired by them.
College was a huge culture shock for me because I was a minority. I mean really, what’s a kid from Watts doing living in North East Portland? It’s not supposed to happen like this, or is it? Luckily, there was someone on the team from Watts along with nine other brothas. Despite this, I still felt like a fish out of water and looked for every excuse to self-sabotage. I was very homesick and disappointed with my role on the team but really, I was being ungrateful. The struggle was real, especially trying to accept that I did make the right decision to go to college, leaving behind my family and friends – which somehow still bothers me to this day. I remembered as a kid some of the OGs pulling me aside and encouraging me to keep doing good, to stay in school, and that it’s okay if I make it out. This has always stayed with me and helped me to do great things at Concordia, like getting my degree.
High school taught me the art of friendships. I attended Verbum Dei HS (Verb), which is an all-male high school in Watts. This is quite fitting because my dad wasn’t around. He left when I was about ten years old. Truth be told, I resented my mom for a long time for sending me to Verb because I really wanted to go to Junipero Serra with my best friend. Attending Verb was a blessing in disguise though. It was diverse and had teachers who were genuinely invested in us. Verb was also healing for me in a lot of ways because I actually internalized a lot of my anger – a lesson I learned from growing up in Watts. You see, growing up in Watts taught me to hide my emotions and over time this suppression turned into anger. Verb provided me with mentors and friendships that ultimately eclipsed the anger and anxiety I developed but couldn’t show.
The fractured family structure I have is why family is at the crux of all my values and success. Fortunately, I was able to find meaning through this and looking back, I don’t recall many of my friends living with their biological father. The abnormality of not having your dad was normal in Watts but through the love of my Grandparents, Mom and Aunt I was able to feel loved, valued, and listened to. Out of respect for the many sacrifices they made I was determined to not disappoint them. I wish I could say I never did but there is a real comfort in knowing that they will always love me and choose to stay in my life.
Growing up in South Central taught me a lot of things. It imparted in me to always observe my environment, to surround myself with good people, and to embrace fear. At the time, I was just trying to avoid getting ensnared by the streets. The really difficult thing was finding a way to be accepted without compromising my values. Life is very fickle, and you never know who’s watching or what will be. It still feels like yesterday I was a young kid roaming the streets observing drugs being trafficked, playing sports unsure if someone would start shooting, competing to impress girls, and being paranoid every time you saw the cops. So, after I recount my steps by explaining how I ended up working with Indigenous youth, I smile proudly because I’m reminded of how much grace I have received throughout my life. From Watts to Western Australia and beyond.
