On Sunday afternoon, just in time for the first NBA game of the day, I asked my son if he had completed his homework for the weekend. His answer was a resounding “yes”. So, being the good parent that I am, I asked him to show me. Technology has caught up with our teens. You see, there is no more lying about homework when you have something called School Loop. It’s an online software application that allows parents to get a daily update of their children’s academic performance. No more lying, kids. Gotcha!
Now, before I get into why I chose to do my current blog about my son helping me with his homework, I have to hit you with a few stats, as always.
• According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children in America — one out of three — live in biological father-absent homes.
• Children in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor. In 2011, 12 percent of children in married-couple families were living in poverty, compared to 44 percent of children in mother-only families.
• Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.
• Children from low-income, two-parent families outperform students from high-income, single-parent homes. Almost twice as many high achievers come from two-parent homes as one-parent homes.
*Sources – National Fatherhood Initiative, FatherlessGeneration.wordpress.com, One-Parent Families and Their Children, Charles F. Kettering Foundation, 1990
I could go on and on, but this is not a blog about fatherless kids. If you read between the lines, this blog is actually about the financial consequences of fathers leaving their kids. It’s not about Black households vs. White households or Whites households vs. other Minority households either. It’s about fathers not handling their business. The third bullet point is very telling and sums up the academic consequences of fatherless households. The fourth bullet point just blows me away because it’s a sign that money isn’t everything. Somebody had better go tell Halle Berry and all of the other single ladies who are getting pregnant by choice (by choice, not unplanned pregnancies) out of wedlock that money may get your kids into the best schools, but it is not a guarantee of academic success or future earnings.
Back to the game, and my son showing me how to do Absolute Inequalities. I definitely wanted to watch the OKC vs. Memphis game and so did my son, but I know him to well, and I knew he hadn’t finished his homework. Just recently, his grades fell to a 2.5. Not good enough for the Hines household. So, we had to start taking some things away…starting with the Playstation! There was angst, anger, and a lot of worrying about which course to take. But, if taking away stuff was a good motivator in 1984, it is still a good motivator for 2013. It worked, and I’m proud to say that several weeks later, according to School Loop, my son now has a 3.57! But, we’ve got to help him maintain it. So, we went to work on something call Absolute Inequalities. I didn’t remember how to do them, (though I’m sure that once upon a time I knew how to do them) which tickled him, but after he showed me a couple of examples, I was good to go. He did the even numbers, and I did the odd. Afterwards, we worked on an extra credit assignment for English. Now we were in my territory! I even decided to write the essay with him. The first draft is due on Friday…I’m shooting for an “A”!
Though there have not been any studies that I know of, I’m willing to put my money on it, I believe parents that take care of the children, end up have someone to take care of them when they get old. About eight years ago my Grandmother was stricken with heart failure and spent some time in the hospital down in San Diego. Members of our family flew in from all over the country to be by her side during this tough time. Though, technically only a couple people are allowed, into the intensive care unit at a time, the nurses were very happy to accommodate my grandmother’s entourage. They understand that holistically, happiness cures illnesses faster than medical treatment alone. While I was there, I couldn’t help but notice all of the other elderly people that were sitting in rooms by themselves. Maybe they were good parents whose children lived far away or maybe not. All I know is that the Hines were deep in San Diego while the matriarch of our family was going through a tough time, and it was a direct result of her being such a great parent. When did she ever refuse an accommodation (I’m going Godfather Pt. 1 on y’all)? A hug, a kiss, food, birthday gifts, money for school (and college), a good word of encouragement, you name it, she was always there for you. No matter whom you ask everyone still wishes that she was here.
Perhaps the most overlooked value to being a good parent is the financial benefits. For example, my grandfather (my grandmother’s husband) just turned 90 in January, and to my knowledge, he has homes all of the country, including mine. Now, he doesn’t own these homes, but he is free to live at any one of at least 20 homes from Detroit to California…rent free! He flies around the country visiting relatives free, and enjoys a wonderful life paid for by the children, and grand children that he helped raise over the span of sixty plus years. He is living proof that time well spent with your kids and grand kids is better than investing in any retirement plan. Grand Dad could have been selfish enough to spread his seed around, but where would he be now? At best, he’d be rotting away in a senior citizens home with some court appointed Trustee spending what little money he had left. Fathers, take care of your kids regardless of the relationship that you have with their mother. It’s not only the best thing for them; it’s the best thing for you!
By: Walter Hines
Financial Editor
ReelUrbanNews.com
