Reel Urban News Exclusive
By: Dorothy A. Webster
In May 2024, I survived cardiac arrest, thanks to aggressive CPR administered by my son-in-law. My recovery has been slow, further complicated by a bout of COVID. For over a year, I’ve been largely housebound with no clear end in sight.
The physical challenges inherent in my medical circumstances are obvious, but less evident are the psychological and emotional impediments. My life, frankly, is monotonous in the extreme. Every day is at least 90% the same as the one before. Two years ago, I moved from California to my current home in Kansas to be near my daughter. She and my son-in-law provide my only regular personal interactions. Since I continue to experience shortness of breath, intermittent chest pains, and exhaustion, I’m unable to participate in organized community activities.
So, I read. I subscribe to Netflix, Hulu, Disney, Amazon Prime, HBO, etc., and all the basic television channels. One device or another is on 24 hours a day. Sometimes I watch something; other times, it’s just background noise and pseudo-company while I read. Friends and family members call frequently. These visits, along with reading, television, and phone calls, certainly mitigate monotony and boredom. However, the overall absence of personal contact has led to feelings of abject isolation and latent depression.
I’ve always been able to get things done—to fix, to create, to instigate, to manage, to “figure it out.” But the confluence of my advanced age, poor health, and relocation has inhibited my ability to reclaim control of my social, physical, and emotional life.
Inhibited, but not ended.
Also, by Webster: https://reelurbannews.com/the-wisdom-of-dorothy-webster-life-lessons/
I must invoke my “I can figure this out” muscle memory to counter the “I am overwhelmed” reaction to my new reality. This is an ambitious goal because my mind, body, and spirit often resist my efforts.
I spent three weeks in rehab and have lived alone since then. This isn’t as dire as it seems, as my daughter and son-in-law live just four minutes away and are always available. However, it does mean I’m responsible for the management and upkeep of the house in every regard. I don’t always feel like thinking about doing any of it, but it is an opportunity; it forces me to engage. I must balance my checkbook, pay the bills, call the plumber, text the gardener, cook, clean the kitchen, and all the rest.
I’ve learned that if I start the day with a brief meditation, affirming that I “will figure out” how to walk at least one mile (from room to room, if necessary), accomplish at least one household or personal business task, reach out to at least one family member or friend, or have dinner with my daughter and son-in-law, I will make it happen. The list may change, but the meditative impetus is a daily occurrence. I rest often throughout the day, but I usually complete the list.
I’ve learned that the effort to reassert a measure of control over my social, physical, and emotional life is constant and ongoing. But I’ve also learned that the blessings of my life help to sustain me during this struggle.
I am blessed to have been given a reprieve; I survived cardiac arrest.
I am blessed to have my children and their families. They are always available and offer their love and full support in helping me explore ways to inhabit my new reality.
I am blessed to have had a grandmother who loved me unconditionally and showed me that anything is possible if you work for it. She is always with me.
I am blessed to have good friends.
I am blessed to have excellent medical care.
I am blessed to have enjoyed robust good health for 95% of my life and to have an instinct for exercising and rehabilitative practices.
I am blessed to have basic computer skills, enabling me to conduct most of my business activities online.
I am blessed with the knowledge that while I am isolated, I am not alone.
I am blessed to believe in the power of meditation and prayer.
I believe that surviving cardiac arrest is a gift that must be honored in every positive way, especially by actively seeking to contribute to life until it is impossible to do so.
Dorothy A. Webster is a UCLA retiree who is originally from Alabama and now lives in the Kansas City metropolitan area. A proud mother of three and grandmother of four, Dorothy finds joy in family, friends, reflection, and sharing the lessons of a well-lived life. Ms. Webster is a senior contributor for reelurbannews.com.
