By: Ian Haddock
Changing Our Narrative
This year has proved to be one of the most impactful years of my life. In March 2019, I was laid off from my full-time gig at an amazing organization as my nonprofit simultaneously had received full funding for its first project. It was a momentous occasion, but like any chance you take to invest your time, came with an immense amount of risk. I learned a lot about business and about myself over these past several months and I stand with endless gratitude over what I am accomplishing along with the teams that I am a part of. Being grateful is all perspective; my 4 reasons to give thanks come from my experience this last year, but I think we all can learn a bit from them.
I am grateful for opposition and feedback.
I have learned that there isn’t negative or positive feedback—just feedback and how we internalize it. All feedback is good feedback! The sooner you get into spaces where people are willing to give you feedback, the more cultivated and precise in execution you, your projects and your vision will be. In similar thought, opposition is an indication that you have made a decision for yourself and not that people are against you. Most people translate opposition as “haters”, but opposition is simply people who don’t align with what you have chosen. And that is okay. Really, that is absolutely okay. People have varying views, beliefs and perspectives and, if no one opposes yours, then you are probably being lukewarm in your approach. I have learned to make decisions for myself, express them to those who I value for feedback and move forward vigorously towards my goal.
I am grateful for opportunities.
This year, I received a lot of opportunities from becoming the LGBTQ Editor of Reel Urban Magazine, President of Impulse Group Houston, writing an essay for the Logo Network and New Now Next and on and on and on. As aforementioned, my gratitude is endless. Still, I want to point out that I have worked hard to create the doors for opportunity to knock. This is not just about building a resume or brand, but more so about creating a space for me to learn: learning when to do something for free and when to say no and learning deeply about myself. Most of my opportunities were based on my lived experience and, if I didn’t have a grasp on who/ what/ where I was along with my “why”, I wouldn’t be in a position to accept these opportunities. So, I am also grateful for preparation for opportunities.
I am grateful for support.
As a relatively new person to the spotlight, this year has been one that has challenged my values, narrative and lifestyle. From comments on national platforms about how my being gay is unnatural to being dragged on social media about my sexual proclivities, leadership isn’t fun in the public. It can also be a burden in the private. Turnover is high and tension can rise out of seemingly nowhere and there is a constant sense of mitigating loss. That’s why I am grateful for support. Without my core team, those in the communities I work that validate the mission of the organizations I serve and those I’ve never met but are my backbone on social media and throughout the country, thank you for letting this imperfect person carve a legacy out of the ashes from the fire people feel so comfortable throwing and blowing at me.
I am grateful for humility.
The saying goes, “Be humble or life will do it for you.” This practice of humility forces me to constantly consider the implications of my actions. It is not that I do everything well or everything right, but I make an intentional decision to always move in integrity and keep my moral compass close. It is this constant reflection and introspection that keeps me grounded when I don’t want to show people the grace that I am so effortlessly given. This recurring idea is what keeps me moving in the favor of God, the purpose of the universe and the love of you, you and you.
During this Thanksgiving season, it can be difficult to find the silver lining in the midst of the everyday situations that arise. My experience this year has taught me so much about gratefulness through opposition, feedback, opportunities, support and humility. So, today, I find resolve in professing that, “All things are working for my good!” I find resolve in knowing that, “Many are called, but few are chosen.” And I find resolve in speaking that, “Love is the greatest of these gifts.”
Happy Thanksgiving, people!
