Zaya, Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union: Protective Families Extend Life

By: Ian Haddock, LGBTQ National Editor

Changing Our Narrative

So, I know this is a hard concept to understand for the general public. African Americans have been slow to be accepting of queer identities as it is a part of what some would consider further oppression of manhood in our communities. I wish I had time to break down the cultural perspective of structural racism, classism, sexism that makes homophobia a part of the machine that is white privilege, but that is not what this piece is about. 

This piece is about Zaya, Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union’s daughter whose dead-name is Zion. Recently, Dwyane went on Ellen Degeneres show and announced that Zion, whose preferred pronouns are she/her/ hers, would now be called Zaya and is transitioning. I have seen a firestorm of people wanting to understand how can the Wades be affirming of a 12 year old identifying as her chosen identity. 

An article in Atlantic from a study of 85 participants aged 3 to 12 says that most of them had a good concept of identity as early as 3 to 5. Also, from the ages of 6 to 8, Advocates for Youth states that children understand sexuality. So, this is in no way abnormal to the development of children but may be a nuanced concept for the greater public.

My estimation is this is because our concept of sexuality is so focused; most people conclude that sex is the preliminary and primary factor of sexuality. It is not. Sexuality is not just about physical attraction, it is much more about natural, emotional and mental attraction to a particular person, gender, or mentality. Gender identity is not the idea of “becoming” something because of your sexuality, either. Many transgender, non-binary and gender nonconforming individuals would be considered straight by their assigned gender at birth. Gender identity and sexuality aren’t the same; one is about attraction to others, the other is about the acknowledgment of your full self.

Still, it seems people are afraid of the idea that Dwyane Wade, being a picture of masculinity and a former pro basketball powerhouse, can be this accepting and it’s bringing up a lot of questions for the general public. For me, I see him as the absolute father of the year. Black transwomen have a life expectancy of early 30’s. To put this in perspective, according to statistics, Zaya has already lived a third of her life. The reasons surrounding the life expectancy of Black transwomen being so low is because of stigma associated with transgender communities, non-protective resources such as ally friendships and family and the misunderstanding of who transgender folx are. 

I wish more people would protect our Black transwomen in this way. If they were able to come out in this way around a protective family willing to learn and grow with them while shielding them from the perils of society, I’m sure they’d have a better chance to live a long and healthy life. If you could think back to your childhood and consider what it would have been like to have a supportive family behind you to get you to your next level, I’m sure that you will understand the need of it for the most oppressed communities. And if you did have one, I’m sure you can see the benefit. 

LGBQIA and especially the Transgender community doesn’t need you to understand us to accept that we are here. Get your understanding, but don’t closet us until you receive it. We deserve a life lived openly and wholly while you work through all your bias, stigma and shame that comes from the simple ignorance of not understanding a concept that is new to you. Let Zaya live and let’s start clapping for the parenting the Wade’s are giving.